The Letters From The Box
by aaronburr
Summary: as she coughed out her last words, "read the letters in the box". trigger! warning
1. bloody whispers

He trotted down the cobblestone road, his loud ungraceful steps having a 'clunking' sound after them. The cool autumn breeze drifting through his salmon hair sending chills down his spine. _Blood. _He thought as the aroma of the crimson liquid and bitter tears lingered in his nose. The man sped up his pace, shoving people out of his way, fearing the worst possible scenario. He definitely wasn't one to jump to conclusions, but he took his friends' lives' seriously, because they were all he had.

He rammed her houses' door down, running through the kitchen and up the stairs, to which he vaguely remembered because most of the time he just used her bedroom window. The metallic scent getting heavier with every step he took, the welt of fear growing in his stomach.

_No. No. No. No. NO! _Why did he have to be right? Why did this have to be real life? Why did she have to do this? He had yanked open the door to find the chocolate-eyed girl lay at rest on her bedroom floor. A razorblade in one hand, an empty pill-bottle in the other.

A line of beaded ichor trailed across her throat, her complexion alabaster as death washed over her body. Tears dried onto her face as his dripped, creating spots on her blood-permeated blouse, and with her last breath, she just managed to cough out

"_Read the letters in the box"_


	2. letter 1

**Letter #1**

_Dear Mama, things haven't been good since you left. Papa has been beating me, but I guess it's okay, I mean, he seems to be at ease after he does hit me so as long as he's happy, right? You've been gone for three months now; I'm finally 11! I've been hanging out with Capricorn a lot; he's taught me many things, including that I shouldn't eat red meat or I'll get heart disease. He's very critical._

_Papa has also started sending me to real school with real boys and girls. He told me that it was better for me. I don't know whether I like it there or not. A lot of the boys and girls there don't like me; they call me names like "snob" and "spoiled brat". I don't know what their mama's and papa's and maid's taught them, but they sure did a horrible job at teaching these people to mind their manners. _

_My favorite teacher is the librarian; I spend my lunch and recess in her room reading cool things like fiction books and manga's. I think she enjoys my company too; sometimes I'll even help her dust so that she doesn't have to hurt herself working too hard. She's at least eighty years old and nobody ever helps her do anything. The other kids will just come in and sit on their phones during study hall. They act like she doesn't exist. I don't think that they should even be allowed to use their phones in study hall. It's ridiculous how all these kids just rely on technology and nothing else. _

_I really do miss you mama, and I know papa does as well. I think he blames me for your death, and maybe he's right. I spent most of my time with you so maybe I did something wrong? I don't know. Anyways, I'll hopefully write you soon,_

_With Love, Lucy. _


	3. letter 2

**Letter #2**

Dear Mama,

It's been two weeks since I turned thirteen and I still feel like I'm twelve, funny huh? Ms. Supetto passed away about a month ago and I still haven't gotten over her death. She was like a second you, mama. I miss you both so much and sometimes I feel like I just can't handle it anymore, that maybe it'd just be easier to give up. Papa's beatings have become daily. I come home from school and he's here, ready to hurt me. Sometimes I summon Cancer to do makeup on me to cover the bruises so nobody at school knows. He's a surprisingly good makeup artist and I don't know why I hadn't tested this out before.

Capricorn disappeared. He left saying he was going on a mission and never came back. I've made another friend at school; his name is Emmett Xavier Alden, but I just call him Emmett since that's his first name. He's my only friend and vice versa. Emmett is paralyzed from the waist down and gets treated like a social outcast all the time; we're in the same boat at school.

I went over his house a few days ago on Saturday after papa forgot that I don't have school on the weekends, so after being kicked out of the house for the day I decided to walk to Emmett's. It was about a mile and a half from our property. So around three miles I'd give as a good estimate. When I got there his mama greeted me at the door, she's a beautiful woman. She recognized who I was by how Emmett had described me; she'd welcomed me into her home and told me to address her by her first name, which is Maria. She reminds me of you mama, always thinking more about others rather than yourself.

Maria showed me to Emmett's room where he was writing something. I forgot to tell you that he also likes writing and that he wants to be a screenwriter. He even wrote one of our school plays, pretty cool. Emmett quickly noticed that I was wearing our school uniform and asked me why I was wearing it. I told him that I needed to do my laundry but I was really lazy so I wore this instead. If only he knew…

We spent the afternoon making fun of just about everybody in the school, other than ourselves. I swear my lungs were on the verge of collapsing from all the laughing that we did. I also helped him out with a script he's been writing for our drama teacher. It was about a wizard guild. Emmett told me about how he dreamed of being in a wizard guild, but that he couldn't join one because he was in a wheel chair. I know that giving him false hope was wrong, but I couldn't bare to see him sad like that, so I ended up telling him that I was sure one day he would be able to join one, no matter how hard it would be to get in.

A couple minutes after his mom came in and asked if I would like to stay for supper, sadly I had to decline since I had lost track of time and forgotten that I had to walk three miles to get home, so I quickly said my goodbyes and thanked Maria for letting me stay for the day. She insisted that I come back soon.

When I got home it was dark outside, which wasn't good. It was around seven thirty and when I walked inside papa was sitting in that big chair we have in the entryway. The next thing I knew he was screaming and yelling. He kicked me extremely hard in the stomach, causing me to cough up blood. He told me about how useless I was and how it was my fault that you're dead mama. Is that true? Am I the one who unintentionally killed you? I'm really sorry I did that to you mama. I'm the one who killed you; I deserve this pain. It's my entire fault you're gone so maybe if I go away papa will be happy again.

That night was the first time I did _it._ The first time I took a blade to my skin and intentionally cut my wrist open. The first time I enjoyed pain. I watched the crimson liquid drip down onto the floor and leave a droplet. As I did it a second time I hissed through my teeth as I cut deeper and watched the beads of vital fluid grow larger and larger as they morphed and created a big glob of blood.

It numbed the pain of papa's abuse. It numbed the pain of _reality._ Because in all honesty, reality is a bitch and when reality hits you, it hits you hard. It hits you _really_ hard. Sometimes I wonder if god could just let me slip out of reality, that he could just bring me to you so I'm not lonely anymore; so I'm not in constant pain and fear that papa is going to be what kills me. Not me getting hit by a bus, not natural causes, but papa; his abuse is what's going to kill me and it just isn't okay. It hurts me on the inside and out, and on the inside more ways than one.

Still, what hurts the most is that after he was done hitting me, after he was done pulling my hair and kicking me, he told me one thing:

"You're even louder than your mother was when I did this to her. It's sickening how you could do so much of a injustice to her,"

He did this to you mama? Papa treated you the same way he treats me. Why didn't you leave? Why didn't you runaway with me and start a new life, far far from this retched man? Why did you put up with all of the pain? Why did you do it?

I'm really trying mama,

Lucy

* * *

Natsu sat on the floor of the blonde girls bedroom. It'd been a week since the incident and he hadn't left her room since. Her funeral was in a couple of days and he couldn't stand to go. It just wasn't okay. How could they be holding a sad funeral for somebody who was always happy. Tears streamed down his face and onto the letter. How had he not noticed what she had done to herself? What she was _doing_ to herself. He thought they were cuts and scars from battle. Why didn't he notice, how come he was so dense.

"I miss you Luce, I really _really_ miss you" He managed to choke out through his sobs.

* * *

**a/n: _so i'm going to have this fan fiction be around eight chapters long just an fyi. and I'm going to be updating it as frequently as i can so sorry if they come within either two days or two weeks. I know i didn't update this for months and i apologize about that but this was just supposed to be a stupid little one shot. Also, this is the start chapter of a very emotional roller coaster and i just want to warn you about that. I'm writing almost all of this from personal experience so _****_I'm very sorry if i offend you and please if i do offend you pm me why and i'll try to figure out the situation peacefully._**


	4. letter 3

**Letter #3**

_It's not fair mama it's not fair. Why does it have to be so difficult? Why am I even here on this planet? Why were you taken from me? Why does god hate me, if he even exists. If he existed he wouldn't keep taking everything away from me. He took you, Ms. Spetto, and now Emmett. He died a week ago. His family got into a devastating car crash; none of them survived. _

_It's like he's egging me on. Egging me on to kill myself. And maybe I will. Nobody in this world loves me, cares for me, or even knows I exist. Papa just beats the shit out of me and when he isn't doing that he's ignoring me by hiding in his office doing paperwork. It's horrible mama, horrible. I've decided to run away before I try that, because I know that you only live as a human once, and that if I kill myself I won't become a beautiful butterfly like you and Ms. Spetto, or a dragonfly like Emmett. I'll become a worm, or something else that gets fed to the fish. _

_I plan to go to the Fairy Tail guild. They're known for their strong friendships and bonds, and destroying things. I'm good at both of those things so I guess it's the place for me. _

_Do you remember when you would kiss me goodnight, and when you would sing me lullabies so I'd fall asleep because I was afraid of the dark. I wish you were here to sing me lullabies again, except I'm not afraid of the dark anymore. I'm afraid of him. I'm afraid of papa. I've tried calling him by his first name, Jude. But I can't do it. It feels wrong. I know that he's my papa and that he hurts me but I can't call him it._

_Do you know why I'm joining the guild? It's for Emmett. He's always told me how he wanted to join a guild and how he doubted he could because of his legs, but I told him he could do anything he set his mind to. He didn't believe me though, he only believed what the doctors told him, so in a way, the doctors ruined his life too. _

_Nobody but me, Emmett, and now you know this, but Emmett and I dated. For a year. We dated up until he died, and when he did die, I wasn't there for him. I was at home. Alone. Crying and cutting into my things I'm pretty sure. _

_He loved me mama; Emmett loved me so much and I loved him. If he'd lived maybe we would've gotten married, had kids, been happy. But, now he's dead like everybody else so I spend ninety-nine percent of my time hiding out in my room sobbing my eyeballs out, slicing and dicing my body, and contemplating suicide. I'm dark and scary mum. This is what death does to a person. They either become amazing, and inspiring and shit or they get all dark and twisty inside and live for the day they die. Or they don't live at all. They sever the ties with all the people in their life and they sever the ties with everything they ever loved and then they sever the ties with life._

_So basically, if I don't get into this guild I'm gonna be the stupid ass person I am and kill myself. Or drink until my liver gives out. Probably the second one, seeing, as I'm a sucker for actual pain. Anyways, I think I'll tell you more about me and Emmett's love story, because I'm a sucker for pain, and for romance. _

_He asked me out by simply asking me out. So by "simply", I mean super duper awkwardly and super duper adorably. We were sitting in his room one day really late at night after I had biked there and it was really late at night so we couldn't talk; we were passing notes. He took a super long time to pass this one note so I was just thinking it was a story from school, but when I opened it, it was telling me about how beautiful I was and how perfect I was and how much he loved me. I cried. A lot. That night, Emmett had the goofiest most amazing smile on his face. I'll never forget it. Ever. That's the happiest he ever looked I swear._

_I'll tell you more soon mama, but I need to go pack the rest of my shit so I can leave this hell hole of a mansion,_

"_good" night mama, _

_Lucy_


	5. Authors Note, sorry

Hello, yeah, it's me after what, like 7 months. Ha. Whoops. You probably thought I'd abandoned this story, but I haven't, believe it or not. I just, don't really know where the plot was going or was supposed to go. My writing has improved significantly since I last updated this. So I'd like to apologize. A lot has happened and I really am sorry. I'm struggling with thinking of a plot, but I'm also struggling both physically and mentally. So, please, stay with me. Also, if any of you have plot suggestions, please _please __**please **_PM me them or leave them in the review section. I need all the help I can get. If you don't suggest things, you'll probably just have an entire story of filler chapters, and that'd be excruciatingly long and boring.

This story has a special place in my heart, and I would never _ever_ delete it, so please remember that. But I need the help.


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